Fuck The Po-Lice!

Damn, for a second there I genuinely thought it was new years. Weird. Also, it occurs to me that we are writing and writing on this thing, in the hopes that someone, some godsend who thinks we're funny, will come along and enjoy us. But by then we'll be on somehting like our 100th post or something more and there'll be all this crap to sift through if they ever want to become true fans, so some people may never get the full story of anything!
Now, I know at this point, right now, we have one follower and he's either some kind of spam device or a crazy person, because, frankly, I'm a little weirded out.

Basically, what I'm getting at is, we can say whatever the burnin' heck we want and by the time anyones' on to us, we'll be in Mexico by then! Suckas! Fuck the po-lice!

I going to talk about YouTube. What the fuck. Is with the idiots who comment on YouTube. And, by sheer, hilarious chance, I have an excellent example of such stupidity! Bear in mind, this kind of idiocy and others like it, is abundant all over YouTube, so don't think I'm picking out one particular incident.
Some people may find the following exchange graphic and stupid:

MaXG65 (2 months ago) Show Hide

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LOL... I'm a programmer punk!

Obviously the university ain't help'n your intelligence much eh moron!

What the hell does McCain for president have to do with this video? cheese dick!

You are about as educated as a fucking monkey!

cingular656 (1 month ago) Show Hide

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programmer? OH! ok... so you also are in love with baby lotion and your right hand...Right?

you probably still live in your basement with your mom (oh wait! never mind, shes right here in my bed! my bad)

MaXG65 (1 month ago) Show Hide

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Oh please! Is that the best you can do?

What a useful intellectual you are!

cingular656 (1 month ago) Show Hide

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At least I'm not a pathetic fagget like you! you like to take dick in your butthole till you bleed!!!

MaXG65 (1 month ago) Show Hide

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Faggot? LOL...

The only fags on here are people like you that believe this video or that the moon landing was a hoax!

LMAO!

Gollynog (5 days ago) Show Hide

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Has you uncle visited you at night again seems that he gace you fond memories about rockets up your ass you gink

First off, you can't have an effective argument such as this over the internet. It's just retarded. And this shit goes on for a page or so. Arguing over the net on YouTube is pointless because, if you are engaging in an argument, and you are like me, you will be up against a loudmouth, anonymity-assured kid/dickhead/both. So you can never win, they'll repeat the same moronic obscene joke about your mother over and over again, and they will not be moved.
And using capital LOLs or LMAO as an attempt at sarcasm or some manner of insulting you, it's all so fucking retarded! Can't these fuckers understand that what they say or do on the site will only make people hate them? But worse again, you get people saying "Aw, ur a fukin dick" to them, and no-one needs that, you're just spurring them on to be more and more annoying. Then theres people who be all sincere about it, trying to make the stupid guy feel belittled by sheer force of holier-than-thou-ness, but that won't work cos' they're idiots and just won't pick up on/care about what you say. So theres no point in arguing. The best thing you can do is keep an open mind whenever commenting on something.

I know this wasn't put together too well, and there is much stupidity that I didn't point out, but fuck it, it's late, I'm tired, and angry.

Sleep well!

Pics From The Phone Chapter II

Welcome to a this time, food orientated picture presentation. Firstly....


This is a little thing I (wittily) like to call a "PopTart with Fluff Spread on it" And that's what it is... Its Chocolate Pop Tart and Fluff. Fluff is, spreadable marshmallow condiment(?) But, its very hard to get in Ireland, and possibly in the States. I just don't know. Its a big novelty to me in any case. Their website also has some catchy retro jingles and its founding is quite the story. Its effectively sugar; and when spread onto pure fat it just delicious.


If you can read what it says on the box, its not a big deal, most people can read.... But you'll be able to tell that it is a box of Lucky Charms. These were the sugary, cavity inducing taste of my childhood. Until the MAN! that is Kellogs stopped selling them this side of the water. Presumably because they were racist, or because of the droves of hyper, obese and toothless children roaming the streets. But I'd remembered them for years, and then I found that this really expensive supermarket in Dublin sold them, that's Fallon and Byrne on Wicklow Street. I paid €9 for one box. 9! I consider it worth it. It brought back the days.

Pics from The Phone Volume I

Screw consistent titling. Phones can be whimsical. In any case.....


This! This Gem of a photo, was taken outiside Urban Outfiiters in Temple Bar... I mean, LOOK AT IT! Its says kittens on it. And now its gone, all torn away. Like, who tears that away, its so great. But now its gone, and I have a picture on it. Which has been copyrighted.





While walking through Dublin, I saw this on a lamp-post. Its a ragged flyer of one of my favourite bands, but a flyer none-the-less. Its pretty good, because, they are little known here and they've only been here once. But they were supporting Elliot Minor. So I didn't go.

Weiners, Ribs And Chicken, Oh My!

Well, the day first day kicked off without any hitches. I caught up with people, we laughed, life was good. By lunch, however, things had started to deteriorate on a large scale; we passed the time standing around listening with half an ear to me, commenting on my vaguely delicious sandwich. A little less dressing the next time I think, and I need to go out and buy some ham. Lettuce and cheese just isn't the same without it. *sigh*

It's been a while since I posted, so I should probably fill you in on the past few days;

Nothing happened.

However, I got Prince Of Persia for my PS3, but more importantly, Little Big Planet! It's super awesome, you can do. . .things and make. . .things and have some great great fun! And damn, I had a plate of some of the most delicious cold pub food items I will ever eat. It was the usual fare to go with chat and alcohol: Teeny cocktail sausages (which I personally would die for), chicken pieces and ribs. Mm-mmm. It's so wrong for it's coldness, it's stolen-ness but damn, it was gorgeous. The ribs were sweet 'n' sour sauced.

*insert off but witty sign-off comment here*

The Deep Breath Before The Plunge

Damn, I've so much to catch up on, look at these guys with their numerous post. Theres so much been happening over the past few days, I'm not sure I can fit it all in one post, ah hahaha!

Yesterday, in the hopes of scrounging some fun before the end of the holidays, I set out with some friends (including co-author and fellow tiger-hunter, Colm) to eat chocolate and have the best time ever!
We made cups from Roses wrappers. I had a collection, then it got blown over.

This post is titled thusly as a result of the return to the grind that is school. May the force be with us as we once again enter the shaken and battered walls of the structure, which are constantly suffering the barrage of stressed-out, peer-pressured, confused, hormone-injected teenagers, using each other as an emotional crutch as they bear the load of self-questioning and self-awareness, together in their journeys, without knowing quite what is going on behind their eyes, whose only hope is to come out of it alive and laughing.

And thats about it.

See you on the sunny side!

The Unbearable Whimsy of Colm Episode III: Things of Non-Consequence I must Achieve:

I with all my might and endeavour will strive to consider trying to attempt the following:

• Get a Sandwhich named after me
• Take Place in a Police Line Up
• Become an Extra in a film
• Invent my own Cocktail
• Have a Succesful Online Blog - Check - .....Uncheck.
• Win. Something. Anything. I must Win
• Fight a Mountain Bear - Check
• Patten Something.... even if its just an existing product with a clock.
• Buy a Cool Unique URL.
• Start a Slow Clap.
• Say Something that Silences a Room
• Get Business Cards
• Shave an Animal
• Build a Tree House... that works.
• To be able to say "The Usual" in a Restaurant" and get what I want.

More to come.

The Unbearable Whimsy of Colm Chapter II: The Boring Sponge

The Boring Sponge. Is it an animal? A fish? A Fungus? I don't know. I found out about this...thing(?) in an aquarium on my recent holiday in France.

Places such as aquariums i.e Zoos, Safari Parks, Theme Parks, use attractions or exhibits to get people to visit their Zoo, Aquarium...etc. but how something called the "Boring Sponge" can be an attraction is beyond me. I know this is petty, and that there were a lot more interesting fish there... But I stood beside a huge tank of water, looking at something called the Boring Sponge. It was a Sponge, and I was bored. Money was exchanged in order for me to view a Boring Sponge.

Maybe if it wasn't called the Boring Sponge, I wouldn't be so puzzled, but the Aquarium had the audacity to make me pay to look at this. I don't think it even moves, or eats. Its sole purpose is To Be. So, you could argue that it was at least attractive to look at, like how some people might like looking at flowers. But It looked like something I might stand in....

Anyway, I moved on and discovered the horrors of the "Horseshoe Crab". Freaky. Anyway Rant over. Its just what a pointless exhibit, and animal.... what function does it serve other than to fill gaps in Aquariums, and annoy people like me to the point they waste a few minutes writing about it.

The Unbearable Whimsy of Colm Volume I: The Beginning

The beginnings of this blog, the birth of a phenomenon and the tale
of its coming about, is a long, arduous, and at times, a long story. So; I'll summarise. For me, the journey began with a simple text message from my dear friend. It read "Today my friends; We become men. We will voyage into the unknown (to us) adventure of blogging. I agreed to it.

Before long the petty arguments over the name, email address titles, and passwords broke out. The first, albeit lowest, hurdle was eventually crossed: dhm@live.ie TA-DA! Somewhat naively,it was proclaimed: "Right. We're in business". It was then that the astonishingly blank screen in front of us became apparent; so we did what any decent men would do: Left it until tomorrow. Well first there was much seizing of the keyboard on my part, and the joint dictating of a basic first post. In any case. That was the Blog.

Oh Yeah. We decided on Dangerously Handsome Men. Figured it was true to life.

First Post.

This a brand new Webzine/Blog set up by three guys, ultimately its' aim is to entertain through inconsequential, light-hearted, post-orientated humour. We hope you enjoy it. . . . .

DHM